So you've been out with a new fella/lady. He/she seems quite nice: a good personality, cute smile, interesting things to say. But it's not the right fit for you. You've given it a couple dates and would rather not take the time out of your busy schedule to meet again to pursue something that doesn't rev your engine.
You must choose, but choose wisely.
Option 1 Easy, but Cruel: Do a Disappearing Act
"..."
Option 2 Moderately Difficult, and Slightly Less Cruel: Notify, but Lie
"I really had a great time tonight Martha, but I'm really just not ready for another relationship since my heart was broken by my last girlfriend who just joined the Peace Corps and is now fighting for truth and justice."
Option 3 Hard, but Humane: Notify with the Truth
"I had a really great time tonight Martha, but your inability to get my jokes really bugs me. We're just not a good fit, I'm sorry."
Since Joel and I have been dating openly, I've been on the giving and receiving end of this choice a few times in the last year. I always consider Options 1 and 2, but always go with 3. It makes my skin crawl to think that I might be hurting someone's feelings, but at the same time I've been hurt by the disappearing act and the dump-and-lie worse.
So as a friendly public service announcement, please consider Option 3. You'll feel better in the long run!
2 comments:
In my opinion you should express the true feelings or reason for not continuing the dating or breaking up the relationship, disappearing is no good idea.
Noted. :-)
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